There other ways,not just one,job job,save,save,what will happen now? I am glad at least i can schedule hotel for us when she comes here.

I love you.

So…after months of saving receipts carefully,gathering papers,asking ,praying and hoping… No, not enough funds, no intentions to come back to my country,not (good enough?) family ties… not good reasons to go,not good enough travel history… I was in fucking Germany for 2 months, in England… seriously, what is it that you want? So, today has been NO .

So now..seeing other p0ssibilities, I check, it comes down to this :

- Take a language course, which is like 1,800 dlls.

- Try to go to a college, the money needed for this is between 8 and 12 k, if this is upfront, it’s a very unlikely scenario,would have to wait about a year and a bit.

- Go directly for a job, a career here would help, refer to previous point.

- Save for 2 more months or so and apply for a 7 days visit,maybe then money would be “enough”

* In any of these cases, priority is to find a cool awesome killer job,well a pretty good one,save like mad…keep saving like mad and… well.. that’s the only mandatory thing. Besides taking TOEFL ,it’s good for any of the scenarios, add 160 dlls.

Let it be Ca or Us, it’s all way closer,career leads to a better job, well to a job.

So, checking school,sent emails,made account,applying , sent 3000 job applications too.

Now what?

Do I need to say I am extremely sad and dissapointed? I thought I was so close to visit, ugh.

So..yes it turns out other people can also jump into conclusions and do things I do… Words are important cos they deliver our messages  about how we feel, I know this but I think I wasn’t completely aware and actively trying to make them work like that, also.. dirty clothes you wash at home.. it’s a spanish saying, meaning you dicuss private things privately. Makes damn lotta sense eh?

Well… I may appear like a crazy person ( no shit ) but… Is it odd to feel happy that I’ve met the one person , in my 29 years of life, that I can get into an argument, ( yes it takes two to tango ) and I ( except I think 2 times ) wanna stay there and eventually we work things out? Like.. I dunno… I am happy and well.. in few days I write more about some stuff that I’m not mentioning clearly now ^^

In any case.. I’m learning more about myself, the world, how things are, and how to approach her. It’s all good, I am gonna do my part, I am paying attention !

It gets worse with people I hold in high regard, I tend to think they can be beyond all and perfectly know how to handle with everything.. how fucking stressing that must be for them… I sometimes just don’t realize the extent of the consequences of my actions towards people that I love, and that love me, I just for some reason think they are unaffected, maybe I think they are so cool they can’t get hurt or something…  This shall happen less and less till it never happens again , they are the ones I never wanna make feel bad.

Vaya..no me sale lo que quiero escribir, realmente quiero que sea un buen post..estoy nerviosa .. ugh, que raro, venga, ella es Bolli, es una mujer de 23 años,  hace videos en youtube y trabaja para una agencia de publicidad, por favor no sean jodones y vayan a indagar sobre su “verdadero nombre” yo no entiendo esta fijación de la gente con los nombres, ella se presenta como Bolli, pues Bolli es, su privacidad y su vida íntima poco o nada nos debería importar, es decir claro que esperamos que todo esté bien con ella, pero no es su obligación ni nada el decirnos todo. Además está buena, digo si de algo les vale, las lesbianas en México deberían ser más como ella.

Yo la descubrí, porque una amiga puso el link  en mi Facebook, el título del video era Lesbianas Primerizas, yo nunca he reído tanto, bueno seguro alguna vez, ¿qué tiene de especial nuestra buena Bolli? Bueno, es chistosa, a menos que seas algo denso, entonces no creo que se le entienda mucho, su acento es divino, si que cosa más frívola para mencionar, pero lo es. A mi en lo particular me encanta el intro que a veces usa, y los efectos de sonido, le dan un toque muy especial al video, porque se los pone justo donde debe ir, y bueno ya tengo nueva canción de verano gracias a ella, Marcc Gregory- Sex Light, el debería agradecer la publicidad.

Mejor les dejo los enlaces a sus fanpages y de muestra un video ,que es una colaboración , y es de mis favoritos creo que lo veo diario, por favor no dejen de checar a esta impresionante y divertidisima bollera,tortilla, camionera , que además es buena onda, y tomo mi virginidad twitcamera. Nada más esa eh.

A disfrutar .

¿Dónde está Bolli?

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Todo-El-Monte-Es-Orgasmo/207827202596192?sk=info

http://www.tigretonybollicao.com/

https://twitter.com/#!/tigretonybolli

http://www.youtube.com/user/TodoElMonteEsOrgasmo?blend=1&ob=video-mustangbase

So,Glee got over me and I had to watch the latest episodes of the new season,,it’s awesome..the Adele mix thing whatever the.. troubled tones? did, I admit it,I like many songs made by Glee,I have watched, but I’m not a real huge ass follower, my gf is tho,hey did you notice how I am gay? Well anyway, that song was amazing and now I’m watching this episode which is about Santana coming out -gasps,yes she is a lesbian omfg- I think it’s cool how they are treating it, I mean,I saw a bad review about it but I dunno why,well yes I do, the song, “I kissed a girl” is not about being a lesbian or etc blah blah,but if you don’t over think and are a feminist crazy lesbian,it’s a fun song, it is!  but let’s not be done with it yet, the other chicks stood up by her and that is awesome, now lemme watch more.

 Awwm Santana coming out her abuelita… Santana is latina??… GOOD JOB ME,IM SO QUICK CATCHING STUFF!..damn abuelita should understand!!! anyway… I remember coming out.. my aunt sorta understood quickly and when mom was doubting to ask me,aunt told her to ask ,and I quote  ”Are you sexually interested in women”… can’t be something you dodge xD at fucking 2 am… I was 15..was awesome.

Rosario + Vampire manga season 2 is done with for now…NOOOO,it’s so good,this whole..vampire thing and monster school, the vampire chick has this.. 2 personalities ..and there’s an ancient super supreme vampire..and stuff.. now tell me that ain’t cool??? mentally unstable monsters!

The Woman

I watched it..we have this dude,who is a lawyer,and he is the absolute scumbag most despicable piece of shit I’ve seen lately,the wife.. ANGELA BETTIS, why every movie you are in makes me feel bad? In a good way,means it reached some place..but come on. She is the submissive wife to this horrible man,they have a daughter,who is pregnant ( yes, dad’s a lil rapist ),a son who is a douchebag in the making! and a cute little poor girl who I hope no one did anything to…

So,movie starts,we see a little girl being bullied,maybe later on molested by some older kids…the son is like watching and continues to practice his basketball moves…they go home,dad goes to hunt,he finds a wild woman,he captures her and tries to “civilize her” cause torture and rape for sure do that to people yes?

So I won’t spoil much,thing is,the ending was… who the fuck was that … girl with no eyes living like a wild dog in the backyard!?  oh yes,ok fuck the no spoiling,the lesbian teacher notices the daughter is pregnant and goes to the house to talk about it,the man gets angry ,hits her,and gives her as food to the dogs and said wild child thing..that happens when people try to be nice around psycho families!

So at the end ,the daughter frees the wild woman,who whacks the son in two with a wooden plank,yes how awesome is that,and rips out the heart of the husband dude,yes some people flipped cos “omg how can a woman who’s so smaller be able to do that!?” well,she was in the wild,killing wolves and shit,dude was in panic and she wanted revenge..works for me! Ah right,she killed the mother…well the mother did warn dude about one of the chain locking tables breaking,thus stopping wild woman from being free,so..she had it right there.

So movie ends and wild woman takes little girl with her,dog girl follows,and pregnant daughter follows too… Yes..

A serbian Film

Let’s see a retired porn star..who’s happily married now and with a kid,accepts this shady job,which offers a shitload of money for it…too good eh? Well there’s like a 14 year old who’s randomly in scenes just watching,dude gets uncomfy and quits..or tries to,cos he is drugged and he goes on a crazy sex spree and fucks what he can,which takes us to the last grand scene…he fucks cloaked persons,2 of them,then switches with a masked dude…and guess what? one is his wife and one is his son…yikes! and masked dude is his BROTHER,who is a cop! Ah right some dude raped the porn star..anyway,it ends like wife,kid and father embrace and he shoots them three at same time.

Wtf Serbia? still,nothing has beaten Martyrs yet.

This one specially.. I listened to it on a party, not very cheerful if you ask me… Honestly,call me a bitch but I’d not be so cool about that person I loved like going with another girl and being happy,I know in stories they say “I wish you are happy,even with someone else” Well I don’t,sorry but no,I want my freaken gf to be happy with me,not other chick.

Cool vid..suits the song

Anyway the video is like..sad too lol. I think I got ass drunk, not literally,I’m gonna go sleep.

Ok,since apparently it’s more polite to inform people that they are gonna know all about something..then again it’s currently airing, and people who want to catch up..DO WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT IT… methinks! So, this is a new TV show, it’s very weird, very confusing, very wtf just happened and why am I seeing visions within the TV screen?

We have a house,which is to be known as the “Murder house” what a lovely name!! I surely would enjoy moving to a place like that…not! ever! So there is a couple, psychiatrist Ben and former musician woman Vivien, they have a dorky daughter Violet…there is a strange woman ( Jessica Lange ) whose name I don’t remember or ever give any importance to,right Constance, and her ah daughter with Down syndrom.. nothing against those people but can’t be bothered to use such a long name every time,she’s gonna be ultra spooky slow girl… I’m watching first episodes cos I could not properly follow on TV due to signal being crappy or me being sleepy..

Dorky daughter Violet..gonna use only names from now on.. gets into a fight with classic bully chick and her 2 bully but not so hysterical friends…Ben tries to get closer to his wife, but she had a miscarriage and is not in the mood for hoompaloompa!!…wtf mongoloid girl shows up in the living room,tells Vivien she’s gonna die and then girl’s mom shows up and is all weird and gives Vivien sage to cleanse the spirits of the house…I would of had been outta there that very instant!!! Y U NO ESCAPE?

Now we meet Tate or Tete or however your write his name.blond super weird dude.ahh he pictures himself as the zombie boy, I love it when TV shows relate to other popular pop and internet culture events! oh yes he befriends Violet..who’s a cutter..well self injurer whatevs.. ahh how lovely a blonde guy dreaming of freeing people from this filthy world and a fucked up girl fall in love.. <3

Now we get to know,Moira,the dead..erm old maid..so the husband sees her as she was.. slutty maidoservice! and Vivien and Violet ( gonna call them team V ) see her as an old creppy yet gentle lady…

So we have some more bonding on the cute lil morbid teenagers.. T and V…hmm OH, maid masturbation gratitous scene! The husband jerks off to it…well he and the wife haven’t had sex in a mother fucking year.. I guess he’s not thaaaat much of a  pig then….ok man with burnt face,who killed his family and has brain cancer showed up… Mongogirl is making a mess..she sees dead people apparently, you know, I’ve watched up to last episode and I am sorta having a trouble knowing who’s dead,who’s not and who has only psychotic visions..  Violet catches dad with the old maid on her lap..WAIT A MOMENT, 8 episodes and they have not talked enough to know the 2 females see the maid old and the dude sees her young? Wtf family dinners are forsaken!!!

Fucking insecure houses,everyone just go in and out when it pleases them..seriously, alarm..oh they do have one, u-s-e-l-e-s-s!

At any case… I am sure rich woman from the 20′s or something is dead ( she shows up later), Ben’s affair student chick is dead ( due to being killed by guy with burnt face), Moira the maid is dead too,well damn dead… I am not sure tho..about Mongogirl,Constance aka Jessica Lange and blonde dude…  Some people are dead and are linked to the house somehow… and some like casually appear? The hell?..I think they are all dead now! 

Awwwwhmmm!!! Dead maid… burnt guy finds her remains…and she is looking from the window..that’s sad..did  make me shed some tears…

ok I like,worth watching,do so.

anyway,last post was meant for all and each person who I mentioned.

Yes it was.  so please consider it.

The month of December hasn’t started, but I’m getting all the vibes from it, I do not love this month, but I find it to be one of the most important turning points of the year, not because it’s a new year, cos I had that in October,but I do use new year’s number till January, to avoid greater confusions. The month is a bit overwhelming in the sense that it’s my Birthday, that few people manage to remember or o be around,since it’s so close to Xmas day,but that shall not worry me this year,for 1.- I will remind everyone till I’m sick of it and 2.- The people who matter the most won’t forget it!  

So there we go,as for getting older,well we must,but unlike many years,this year ( a birthday could also be another kind of new year, since it’s a whole year for the person ) I haven’t just got older, I have truly grew up,even if only a little,I am slightly wiser, I have been starting to do things for myself, to be proud of me,and it is working awesomely, I have been to gym on a regular basis,I have stood up for myself, I have set senseless thoughts aside in the attempt of better relationships and I have started to believe I am capable of things I would of never even considered trying. 

Therefore this is a time of growth and improvement, and yes of course some people have to do with it, not like we must do things only cause others encourage us to, but it’s damn important and vital for the first steps, then you find yourself on the right path. That is priceless.

So taking advantage of this public space, I want to thank my mother, who has put with me with all my shit for years,and assure I may grow prosper and with new projects and the chance to make some money ,to repay her kindness and allow her to relax. This also is good cos it means I can eventually go back to school,I dream of becoming a fitness trainer and help others reach their goals,and start a new life in another country, which shall prove to require hard work, which I am not afraid of.

I also want to thank my girlfriend, for she has been amazing, pointing important things to me and given me that extra push that I need a bit more often than I should maybe, and for always having the right mind to talk to me,even when I’m agitated. She is truly the best,and my doormat  and I am super happy I decided to go join that lesbian site,not ever even thinking I could find real love there, lost in the wires of the internet,now all that is left is to take it to the next phase.  I do love you,lots.

I also wish to thank my sistah,who was so kind to praise me and my gf,who happens to ber her bestestest friend ever, on her blog, but sadly I can’t reply there, for being on duty all the time and listening to my crap,and giving good advice,I feel we are like a lil family,it’s a nice feeling indeed. 

Some other “online people” I don’t want that term to sound like it’s less important,cos it is so not, I can count 3 other persons who have been great and I have in high regards,2 of those are also dating, which makes this all a perfect situation for a massive multi dating night.

My friends here,I have few but they are definetely very important, highschool friend specially,Mu the crazy singer,the gay bunch,Mofasa, who has been of an incredible help hooking me up with job ! as you see I do not like using names, due to privacy issues,I know some weirdos are reading this lol. Some people I am closer with ,I think it’s clear when you read this.

Finally I would like to say I am sorry if any of you people mentioned here has ever felt less than appreciated or important, for this has never been my intention,but the result of my inability to sometimes properly express things. Take into account how important each other is,in one way or another.

With this said,I feel content and satisfied,to let the world know how I feel and how fucking amazing my people are for me,when I say my people I mean like,those close to me,nothing about new races.

So enjoy whatever you are going to celebrate,for me it’s my Birthday ( December 22,remember!) and Yule. 

Best wishes for all of us.

Pheeeew that was cool!