LDR ;in first person

LDR here stands for “Long distance relationship” ,first person because I’m telling it from my point of view.Like..in Halo but you don’t shoot anything or anyone..well you could…anyway,let’s get started!

This isn’t like a pro and con post, those come and go with every different set of people, BUT, there are things that are for sure usually a pro or a con, obviously the first con is you can’t hang out or meet as often as regular couples ( I’ll call them SDR, S as in short,yes short distance,yes), the pro is that precisely because of this the time you spend is likely to be of higher quality, another pro is that a LDR focuses more on talking,feelings,getting to know the other person,of course this can be done in SDR but there are more “distractions” since it’s way easier. Like sex,you can limit to have sexual intercourse and go out to eat,as an example.

I was thinking,that for myself there is a super great advantage that is hard to get in a SDR, the longing, the appreciation for the other person, it’s sorta easy to make the mistake to take  for granted someone who is 3 buses stop away, cos they are “available” ( yes some couples in SDR also lack time,but let us not compare waiting a week as waiting months before meeting ) and it is much harder to take for granted someone that you have to wait for long periods of time to be with, much more so if you haven’t met for the first time yet, you find yourself wondering how her face changes when she laughs, ( yes Skype but in person everything is more colourful more intimate ) how her skin feels,what are her kisses like, etc, you even wonder how her hair gets messy on a windy day, stuff you usually don’t even notice when you see someone all the time, or at least quite often.

I have been told and argued that a LDR isn’t a real on,that it’s a simple way to pretend to have something with someone without the hassle. Excuse me? it’s 2 persons here, 2 different people with their own minds and hearts and feelings, if they are both honest of course it’s real, hell, I think it needs a higher level of commitment,to make time in the day to talk,to coordinate schedules, share pictures, appoint dates for longer talks or Skype sessions,saving for actual meetings,which implies travelling,planning. So I’d ask people to consider this, before thinking it isn’t real, yes sure, some people may just fool around with such things,but there is a point when you’ve shared so much of you, things you may have never disclosed to other partners you’ve had for even years, that no one can come and tell you this isn’t a real thing. It’s love as good as it gets,with a tiny bit more effort, but also the joy of being together goes beyond the roof I’m sure.

And you know? I’ve seen,and it has happened to me, being close in physical distance means little when the emotional distance is already greater than the one between America and Asia… 2 people in the same room, with their minds away from each other, emptily holding hands just because some sense of duty or not to make things awkward, sleeping next to someone but feeling as if you’re totally and completely alone,that kind of distance is the one that can’t be helped,for the other you got buses,planes, Internet and a strong will to work hard and make it work, if it’s worth,but it is if you feel this uproar in yourself. And maybe someday you’ll find yourself feeling closer to someone,closer than you’ve ever been to anyone, and to feel this strong bond, and you haven’t even looked properly  into each other’s eyes…

And no, it’s not like you go and decide you will be drawn to a person who happens to live very far away,it just happens… I am not sure if I’ve written about soulmates… but for tonight this is good enough, and if you happen to find your very special person,and that person lives afar..and when they want too as well.. make it work , try, maybe it turns out great!

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1 Comment

  1. It is always wonderful to read your words and see what you think and feel. In the past I never thought that I would be in a LDR. I only thought about the fact how hard it would be and didn’t see all the positive and special moments you share with each other. The world nowadays is mostly too fast and this is often the same when it comes to relationships. Now I experience to fall in love with someone abroad and it is so much more intense and special than anything I had before. A nice word, pictures or things my partner tells me while I imagine it mean 1000 times more to me than kisses and hugs I experienced in former relationships. And when I am now able to finally kiss my girl it is going to be one of the best thibgs ever!


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