Letting go

I have written about saying good bye to the purism and absolutism that seem to permeate the lifestyle I chose regarding my ethics in relation with other animals ( veganism, although I am finding I’m less fond of the word day by day… ) but I also must come to terms with other aspects of my life.

I may have overcame my incipient eating disorder that started when I was seriously not in control of my life anymore or what I ate and barely of what I did, I shall refer to that time of my life as the true dark ages. So, I have just recently got keen on working out, but let me be honest, I still do it mostly cos I do fear not only gaining weight but not losing what’s remaining of fat here, that which keeps me away from being what I think would be ideal.

The result is of course, I stress out a lot when I skip gym either for time or like yesterday I was sick, and it’s unwise to attend gym when one is ill, specially with a fever. Stress makes people store more fat, so you can see how that goes, so I am going to try to change that, I don’t know how long it’ll take me but I want to do all the things i do with a smile, do them cos I enjoy them and not cos of fear what would happen if I didn’t do them. Hope you could follow me up until here, I am going to focus on the benefits that I get in terms of how I feel,not weight or looks. For example, I love being able to perform 15 push ups in a row, I love being strong enough to press 160 kilos with my legs, I love the endorphine shower I get after working out and I love that the daily cardio sessions allow me to run 6 blocks to be on time when I need to.

I will do that and let my body and my mind relax, not thinking about %’s of this and that, yes commitment is important, but it must not become a self imposed task either. Like, I am going to get a new notebook and write down my cheat meals, so I can eat something yummy,not so healthy not so crappy once a week,and write it down, cos that keeps me on track but also lets me do what i want once every 7 days, hehe, and I will make a true list of goals for next year, for example, drinking only craftbeer ,1 on the weekend, with the exception of 5 times a year,drinking other kind when meeting friends, rules are good and help me keeping on the path but I must also become a flexible person when it’s needed.

So basically I am going to trust that my body will look much better after I truly feel better.  cos it is a reflection.

Happy holidays!!












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