Moving from gym to home workout.

I wanted a fancy title but I’m supposed to be working, so I’ll make this quick, just need to write it down or my brain won’t shut up hehe.

Ok,you know I was “average”, then fat, then average, then whatever I am now. Thing is , I owe much to the gym, the facilities, because it’s thanks to such places that I was able to get rid of those 25 kilograms, I learned many basic things, I was able to finally have a butt, I learned also a lot about myself, my trainer is DA bomb, really, he and his wife helped me so so so much! but I think now it’s the moment to say goodbye.

I liked going to the the gym, I’ll try to post the good and the not so good .

The BAD

1.- Crowded, you must wait in order to use equipment, and some people come in groups so they of course grab ALL the dumbbells that exist!

2.- You must get there. Yes, there are cars, buses, one can walk but sometimes life decides you have stuff to do and it’s already 9:30 pm, whatcha gonna do? Hum?

3.- A monthly fee, I am now saving up that to invest on life lasting equipment, like a pull up bar, a bar with discs, etc.

4.- Mirrors, it is good to see how the body is changing but some days you ARE really bloated and the fit clothes make you feel bad and you get a bit sad, at least I did.

The GOOD

1.- You have equipment to do many different exercises

2.- If the coach is a good one, you get invaluable advice and tips.

3.- The comrade feeling!

4.- You can add resistance in the way of weights, an easier to track progress mark, let’s say it like that.

Now, I decided to quit my gym of 3 years, truth be said I only was really committed at times, when things feel like a duty I am not so keen on them, there was I time I did a mix of crossfit and functional training, I walked back and forth to the gym, 30 minutes each round, the workout was about 45 minutes, I had the time and I liked it, I was my slimest fittest ever,  but then I wanted to get more muscle or tone or whatever and I tried out another things, and well, one step forward, one backwards, then I would start feeling anxious if I didn’t go, I would feel guilty.

Now though, I decided and started a little routine with my dumbbells and bar, but I left that and I am with the Insanity MAX:30 program ( this is not an AD, there are tons of programs, free workouts in YouTube, there’s bodyrock.tv, Zuzka light etc ) and honestly, I read people need much more willpower to workout at home..I don’t think it’s the case, you don’t have to drive,walk anywhere, you just turn on the TV or the PC, then again this may not apply to everyone. But it did for me, I love it that I can adjust my times, I love having my protein shake right after I finish because the kitchen is THERE, ( I am looking at it from my room), the weather means nothing to me, I don’t get self conscious of a particular training outfit being not so flattering ( no big mirrors here), I don’t have to wait for absolutely anything or anyone!!and most important IT IS FUN, I look forward to it!!!!! Don’t get me wrong, I had endorphines from gym as well, but honestly, I tend to overdo  it, and sometimes I’d get small injuries. This is solid 30 minutes, I have fun, I challenge myself but I also rest as needed, not for too long.

So, what I think will be my new path, I’ll finish this program, then I’m going to try P90x3, use my bar for deadlifts (compound moves are DA bomb), get a pull-up bar and alternate between different programs, of course eating properly and resting a lot at night.

I encourage going to the gym, going to swim, hiking, biking, anything that means being active!!!

I also want to talk about “fat pride”… but in other occasion! That’s going to offend some people but I hope you’ll get what I want to say.

hunger-games-workout

Heck, you can also try this out! see? lots of alternatives everywhere!

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Green eyed demon, begone!

Sometimes in your life, when you sit and think deeply about your past actions, and of others, you come to a better understanding of yourself, and this allows you to accept the person you were, knowing why you were like that and embracing the person you’ve become.

I want to share my latest understanding, the dreaded jealousy! I know I was a jealous person, ( not as bad as some, but still, a bit too silly) but I never sat down and thought about it as to ask myself why? Of course I knew it was because I was an insecure person, that is usually the main issue there, but also I kept attracting and being attracted to exactly the kind of person who could add to such insecurity, I am not saying it’s their fault, it’s no one’s fault, but when you are feeling silly and not worthy you tend to end up surrounded by people who make you face that, I guess it’s life’s way to tell you “Yo,silly ass, wake up!”

Because, if you really do not trust the person you are with, you should respect yourself enough, and also that person and just go, end such relationship, but if you don’t love yourself at the moment, let us even say you hate yourself and the world and expect the worst every time from everyone… it kind of ends up being true, you do get the worst in every possible case, you are tuned for the “bad” vibes so to speak, like a radio set for FM, you only get FM, if you change the tuning, you can get other sort of waves.  At this point you really don’t have much security either, and well this “fear of losing someone” I think, it’s related to the fact that deep down you know or you think, it’s not going to work, you don’t even love this person, you know they don’t love you either, but for a variety of reasons the relationship continues.  So you hold onto something that you know it’s similar to slippery mud, cos you know it won’t stay, and honestly.. you don’t want it to stay, but sometimes you are too lonely or too focused worrying about Gods know what, and you lose yourself a bit, or a lot…

But! when you find yourself, that is the most amazing thing ever, you discover this thing…self-esteem! It’s really nice let me tell you, and then you are ready, you are open and prepared to be attracted and to attract people who can and will respect you, that you can also respect and trust, because you also stopped doing that annoying thing of trying to think for others, or to feel for others, you just, let them be, of course old habits may sneak around now and then, but it’s much easier to get back on the track, it gets easier every time. And you are thankful you met a certain someone at this certain point in your life, cos now you are a proper partner for this kind of nice, loving, respectful, fun relationship.

So, I won’t tell ya to stop being a jealous person immediately,  I’m not a therapist, but I can suggest, to try and think about why are you like that, or maybe it’s another thing, are you an angry person? pessimistic? etc, looking inside one’s soul and mind is, scary at first but it’s the best journey you can have, cos it allows you to further accept and love others, either friends or romantic interest or your family and especially, yourself.

gothspiders

 

 

Carol

It’s here, it’s back, a movie review… This is one of the best lesbian movies ever, like seriously.

But please don’t expect something like a 10 minutes long sex scene, ( seriously, what the hell was that about?) this movie is about, well, meeting someone else, in this tight-up society, and man it’s been a while since I saw 2 classy ladies drink so much, but in that time ( it’s set in the 50’s ) you could have breakfast with a Martini glass, actually just leave the damn mixer on the table, we will refill ourselves, golden!!!

I loved it cos I went in expecting to at least not be bored to death, it was a free ticket so I wasn’t worried about hating it… It has been so long since I came out of a movie play dancing and strolling, singing and with my hand on my chest,  I was happy. It made me actually happy, to smile, a real smile. smiling, at the movies, I went alone and I came out dancing, singing and smiling, that is how good that movie is!!!

It managed to touch my heart, to make me feel this, this love feelings the women had, and it also got some dramatic moments, but, that is what I liked best, it wasn’t this horrible unending ordeal , no one ends up dead, either killed or committing suicide, or a double suicide! there is no rape, no forced marriage ( one was married but divorcing) no terminal illness diminishing their light, nothing like this!!! It was a normal, yes troubled, but normal developing of a love relationship.

The ending…I won’t say nothing, but I want to say, it is a good one, like I said, no one does stupid ass sacrifices for the sake of others dooming their lives to perpetual misery.

And it was funny too, well at least I laughed in some parts, maybe cos I was feeling like a school girl hehehe. I was giggling.So good.

So, please do go watch it, you don’t even need to be gay to enjoy it!

I wish I look as good and classy as Cate Blanchet when I’m older

 

carol-movie-poster

 

 

 

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