Citrus manga review

Well, I have talked about this before, but just now I got the chance to purchase the manga from Amazon Mexico, it is so good… The story as you may know it’s, well complicated, but there is something about this manga…  I’m not sure if it’s the character development or the awesome character design ( aka I love how the mangaka draws ) or the sexy yet not explicit nature of the relationship.

It was one of the best buys I’ve made this year, along with the first 5 books of A song of ice and fire aka Game of Thrones. I don’t want to spoil anything but if you do like this manga, support the artist and buy it. I’m eagerly waiting for the 5th tome to be released!

 

On another note, I’m not bitter and hating love haha, some people seem to think this, I have just opened up to this total different option where not everyone has this super special person waiting for them, it may happen, for people when they are ready, but isn’t it possible also that this is not the case? We should and could be more than enough to be happy, we are a whole orange, not a “half” , alas if there shall be a compatible spark it’s welcome, just we should remember sometimes it may be temporary, either to learn something from them or just because that is how it is, not because it feels and is true love it means it will last forever.  Maybe such a situation exists, maybe not, accepting this has made me feel greatly relieved, this mentality we have ,mostly, as people of “the right one being with me forever” is way too stressful.

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Red string of fate revisited

Well..things have changed since last time I wrote about this subject. I still believe there are souls made to meet and have a sorta long lasting fulfilling relationship, I just think that it’s much much less likely than what I thought and that , at least for me, when I’ve felt such a strong connection and feelings, in the end it was just the universe showing me the things I had to/wanted to change and gave me a way to do it so ( check mirror law ) , I am thankful and all, I truly grow a lot each passing day, but it’s a bit disheartening that such a amazing, out of this world state of feelings was a mean to an end, to learn something and to be better and change and stuff.

So.. whereas I think it’s super cool to meet the souls you have to meet and learn from each other, I don’t think all of us have this twin spark, this soul mate. Cos when something had felt so incredibly real and it turns out it wasn’t that…  you stop believing ( at least for a while I think ) so maybe for some of us it’s like this, to be “alone” but that kind of alone is ok when you do have friends and family.  I really think i’m too much to handle, not only cos of some character flaws which can be “fixed” when you fix the underneath actual problem, but  to actually accept me as I am..with my views of the world and how I conduct myself… definitely not fitting  standard social roles or parameters..  I don’t think that’s possible. So I am fine with it, cos ,well , I thought I had met someone who could, but mm well, it wasn’t like that…so… but I am not going to change to make others happy or cos “it’s how things should be” so…

I guess that is it.  More fun posts will come, eventually, when everything is, well.. more fun, I am not here sulking all day haha, but well, some days are better than others, but it’s all good, it will be good in the end.

nicomaki

Anime and manga, giving me unrealistic ideas of eternal love since 1998. LOL

 

Up & Down,High & Low

… -breathes heavily-  sometimes I think I am very close to successfully get you out of my mind, it’s not like I want to entirely forget you, just this feelings I connect to the human being that is you.  But unlike movies and books I can’t choose how this goes, it’s like that song from Florence and the Machine “You can’t choose what stays and what fades away”.  I mean you can kind of, but… in the end, some street corner, some german name of some beer, some rainy spot makes me think of what it was and stopped being and maybe never was, useless? Hell yeah, but it still happens, and..well it makes me angry sometimes that I can’t quickly shake it off and just exile you from me, I don’t try to deny it, I will follow through cos maybe it’s the only way to a complete heal, but man sometimes it’s driving me nuts, I think I’m doing so well and then I have this stupid ass memory or a dream or a thought and it just crumbles down, I am aware, I know it’s ok for things to end, to not work, sometimes we just meet to show others what they need to change/fix/improve… but it’s not always that easy.

Mostly I want to play it cool, I don’t think you’ll ever read this, but god dammit I miss you sometimes so fucking bad, then I think about some other stuff and I carefully remind myself of how it all changed and I get mad cos you couldn’t be a bit clearer a bit sooner.

I… Ah I’m just so tired, I know love changes and people are bound to meet and well, maybe I do have someone to spend a very good part of my life with, romantically that is, or maybe not, I just can’t completely get over the fact it wasn’t you. It felt so damn real, I was really sure.  At the moment I just want to be left alone, I truly believe I am meant to be alone, I can’t keep on doing this, 2 times is enough for me to find out someone can love me till they get to really know me. I seriously have no desire for this to ever happen again.

Ok, all out, all good. This will take time, maybe a long time, but it’s ok, in the end I am happy we met and all, i am happy I met all the people in my life, no matter how things started or ended.  I just somehow wish you had stayed around longer. Liking me as i am of course, not …well.

 

 

 

Goals for next birthday ( or before it )

1.- Buy a freaking gaming PC where I can run Diablo III smoothly.

2.- Lower body fat to around 19-21 %

3.- Buy new smartphone to play Pokemon Go

4.- Buy Nintendo 3DS to play Pokemon X/Y

5.- Be hottest than a stellar fusion.

6.- Truly enjoy being single

7.- Never to consider move in or live with a possible future gf ( if I do have a future gf she’s gonna have to be really supa awesome ). Noppers.

 

CA

Offline

I didn’t log on Facebook or connected my phone to the Internet for a whole weekend. It was something I wanted to try out, being disconnected, since we live in this era when we are all the time getting so much information.

It was..weird, it caused me some anxiety, but also I got to totally focus on what I was doing, whether it was attending a serial killer exhibit ( awesome by the way!) or laughing with friends about bad restaurant service.

I think I like blogging more now and I liked it a lot already, so you may read more of my things more often.

If you like anime I’ve got to recommend these new titles airing this season :

Ange Vergie = World destruction,power, fan service, humour.

Love,Live! Sunshine! = more school idols, it’s kinda good.

Qualidea code = AWESOME music, funny and cool fighting.

The outcast : Chinese webcomic inspired, zombies and ki. Cool gal with knives.

 

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