What is love? baby don’t hurt me

No more.

LOL, I just wanted to write that down at least once this year.

Anyway, I was thinking, as usual, so I had to stop my horror movie to write cos otherwise I can’t focus, ah the joys of a busy mind! I was thinking about what we, humans, think love is, specially romantic love and how most beliefs are actually detrimental, even toxic.

I wanted to read about it and I did a quick research, mostly a common mistake was to think you have to endure, to be with your partner no matter what, second is wanting to change the person into what you want instead of loving them as they are.Third was thinking “if I love this person they will change and be good and solve ALL their problems”.

I really like that quote from this Mexican movie “el amor no debe ser sencillo pero si tiene que ser fácil”/”love doesn’t have to be simple but it has to be easy” which is like, sure love can be complex, since we are complex human beings (tho, sometimes we over-complicate things, that happens too often ) , like, apparently relationships have stages and at some point you will have misunderstandings, that I can understand, but I don’t think things really have to or will eventually include like a big fight, I think maybe we are a bit too inclined to expect “bad” things when dating, sure, maybe it’s not a ride on a cloud always and perpetually but… wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who makes you feel like the biggest fight you are going to have is about choosing a color for the kitchen?

Someone you truly accept, love and respect, who doesn’t want to change you and who acknowledges both of you have flaws but that is fine and both of you will continue growing as individuals and as a couple? Maybe the mistake lies in thinking a relationship will fill voids we haven’t filled ourselves yet, if you keep pouring cement in a bottomless hole it will never be full. So, as I say lately, gotta really love yourself to be able to open honestly to this, we all carry scars, demons, but we deserve and should be only with the person who can love us as we try to love ourselves (and them) and to keep on healing. If you are really honest with you and the other person from the start I think the chances for things to go downhill are pretty slim to none.

So my point is, maybe we are too used to extremes, either it’s this fantasy love story with people running to stop flights or it’s a lot of fighting sprinkled with some “ok” moments. “love hurts” fuck it doesn’t! that ain’t love, “love conquers all” well, that attachment we feel and our own stubbornness is different to the fact of love naturally finding a way, forcing things means that’s not the good one.

I think it should be some real, true, romance, with fun, seriousness, support, where you can be yourself, get mad too, get sad, but never having that as an excuse to hurt the one you claim to love.




  1. Kate and I have fought over the dumbest things before. I think that having intense feelings for another person can come out in so many ways. It definitely isn’t simple but we usually get back to our version of normal easily. I think people need to find what love means to them, and not try to fit inside someone else’s definition. It seems like you’re on the right track with that 😁

    • Ahhh, that’s a very good example actually!! For me fights are a no-no cos I’ve had enough of that lol, but yes, we all should find our own love that is normal and good for us!! well thought!!

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