Creencias

Esta va en español porque puedo escribir más groserías, jajaja, en inglés nomás hay fuck y fuckery y fucketee.

Bueno, hoy es uno de esos días en que ando preocupada por la fluidez de los dineros.

Pero antes de abordar ese tema, quiero hablar de las creencias, que es un término que seguramente habrás visto por ahí, la cosa es que uno piensa cosas, o que las cosas son de cierta manera, porque lo hemos visto en casa, con amigos, en medios de comunicación, últimamente en redes sociales,  en pocas palabras , desde pequeños aprendemos cosas como:

  • La vida es dura
  • Hay que trabajar mucho para tener dinero
  • No hay dinero para todos
  • El amor duele
  • La felicidad no es para todos
  • Si no comes carne te mueres/estás enfermo

Y un largo etc. pero.. yo varias veces, y seguramente muchas más lo haré, me pongo a pensar y me doy cuenta de que yo no pienso eso, es algo que vaya, uno va integrando en su mente, pero no es una idea que surja de mi misma, que sea algo anidado, que de vueltas y que de repente salte a joder la vida, eso es otro asunto.

Por ejemplo, no sé si ya escribí sobre esto antes, pero igual lo hago, yo tuve un conflicto interno serio cuando me empezó a ir bien con lo de ser freelancer,  ¿por qué? Porque tenía amistades, gente que conocía, quejándose del trabajo, de que descansan poco, y que no ganan tanto, y a mi me parecía venir más fácilmente, esto, debido a las creencias mencionadas, de manera subconsciente, lo tenía yo relacionado como algo negativo, como que no me merecía yo ganar en una semana, lo que ganaría en un mes.  ¿Y cómo por qué chingados no?  Por la creencia de “para tener dinero hay que esforzarse mucho” por mucho entiéndase matarse en un trabajo pedorro.

Craso error, esta idea no es mía, pensando seriamente sobre ello, puedo ver que yo en verdad no creo eso, de que si trabajo lo hago, de un modo distinto, de que es válido,lo es, de que me hace feliz el no salir a la calle a lidiar con otras personas, que prefiero estar en casa haciendo subtítulos o traducciones o escribiendo artículos, que además se me da, divino, ¡Claro que lo prefiero!

Dinero, recursos y abundancia, hay muchísimo, si no miren a los que usan tenis con diamantes,pero a veces pensamos que no hay para todos o que no todos lo merecemos, de nuevo, pregunto yo ¿Pero por qué? ¿Quién decidió esto y cuándo? Y lo más importante, ¿cuándo aceptamos nosotros que esta es nuestra realidad?

La realidad la vamos creando día a día,con nuestro pensamiento, que da a su vez, emociones e ideas. Entonces pues, quiero dejar de pensar ideas ajenas y germinar las mías propias, que si se puede ser feliz sin un trabajo típico, que está bien cobrar en dólares, que está bien en un mes ganar mucho dinero, más en 2 y sucesivamente, porque esa vida de angustia y de esperar completar, eso ya está lejos de mi.

Pero esto aplica a otras creencias claro, si pienso que soy gorda,fea y que nunca me veré como quiero..lo más seguro es que termine siendo así.

Veo demasiados memes y “bromas” a costa de este tipo de temas, que si no sirves para el amor, que si estás feo, etc.

Una cosa es la vida y una es lo que creemos que eso, no quiero más creer que es dura, difícil, complicada, para mi será sencilla, divertida y todo fluirá como el río que es.

 

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Overnightoats xD

A quick generic storyline for yuri manga

I’ve read a lot, A LOT of yuri manga, and with rare exceptions with long or at least more elaborated stories, they pretty much follow one of several routes

1.- Girl A is popular with boys/men, girl B doesn’t think any of this, she somehow ends up alone with girl A on dressing room/workplace/a pub/etc, girl A says she notices how girl B always stare, they kiss, they are super horny, they have sex, not before one or both claim “this is embarrassing” “I feel the same” “you are so lewd” “do lewd things to me”

There’s a variation for the above with “I love you and always have”, “omg me too”, “Ok accept my feelings” –> they have passionate, earth shaking, crazy hot love making for hours with like 10 orgasms.

This applies mostly to one shots, cos on longer ones, they first have to struggle with “being both girls” and “how/what do two girls do” Come on, think a bit, what do you think can be done? so little imagination, good gods!!

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Mimic Korean horror movie review

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See that awesome poster? ALL LIES, cos they never released it here, in my city, they promised so on Cinepolis, they had fucking posters, trailers, I was even going to watch it on fucking VIP and then what? Premiere date came and it wasn’t there!!! ALL LIES. But they had a Sailor Moon musical…2 times? Fuck off!

So sad and pissed off ,sniff, was really looking for it.

Now of course I watched it in a different way, because, lol, Internet, IT’S AWESOME.

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I won’t spoil it for you, just know it’s about a woman, suffering due to her missing son, goes to live on the mountains with her husband, her daughter and her mom with Alzheimer? or something.

There is a mysterious cave, where mysterious things happened and apparently a weird ass creature lives there, it can mimic, hence the name, any voice, so you can guess it’ll be exciting to see how guilt and deceit wrap these people up!

I learned something from this movie and the tag-along:

 

  1.  Don’t befriend little girls that you find in the mountains
  2. Specially if you find them near places with corpses
  3. If a random, older,blind/disabled/scarred/heavily tattooed religious person warns you about something, listen!
  4. Don’t follow mysterious voices..much less on a freaking mountain!
  5. Asian people are BRUTAL when they abuse others,no simple hitting will do, no sir, let’s seriously cause damage, as much physical as mental!
  6. If the mirror knocks, don’t answer!
  7. Don’t go out in the rain at night looking for mysterious voices or little girls
  8. Maybe just skip the mountains altogether

 

PS: I just finished watching it..hmm I expected a different kind of ending, more like the tag-along 2, this is understandable but nah, I’m glad I didn’t watch it in VIP, ALTHOUGH, I would still go watch every Asian horror movie they show here, for support and so that they bring more, dammit.

One about fitness improvement

Ok, time for a fitness related post, you know I’ve tried to live the fit life, even joined a vegan bodybuilding and fitness group on Facebook, man so many stupid things I have to read..LOL but there’s also cool advice 🙂

I mean, most are people who know what they are talking about, but some are too focused on the holy grail of health..don’t get me wrong, I like to be in good health and shit, but I stop listening if you are anti soy, anti gluten, anti anything packaged, anti anything that doesn’t glow with the magical aura of vegan angels harvesting it, ok?

So anyway, I started doing something, I think it’s been a month exactly, I wish someone had suggested this to me AGES before..but well, all in due time ne?

LOGGING the motherfucking workouts, logging in the weight used, the reps and the sets, along with the order of the exercises.

It is a real game changer!! I can now SEE in paper, with numbers, that I doubled my bench press in 4 weeks! I can see I lowered my squat weight but I also improved my ROM, it’s so rewarding to see this, I use the good and old pen and paper, also a cute app FitNotes, it’s super simple, just how I wanted it.  Now I can actually see if I am getting stronger, which I am! This encourages me and takes out the randomness.

On the second part of my improvement, I decided to stay on my maintenance calories, which should be 2000, on the gym days, on the days off, I’ll drop a measly 100 calories, also I added 10 minutes to the cardio, the total is 22, nothing crazy.

The thing is, when I eat more carbs, I weigh more, cos water duh, but otherwise I still weight the same, but I can see something is changing, dat leg looks much better now..so we’ll see, haven’t had my evaluation yet, I sort of want to give it time.

I stopped trying to eat like, 2,200 cals on gym days, it’s TOO much for me, it’s uncomfortable, I totally dreaded it, so why to do it? You gotta try different things yes, but also work with what feels good, not easy, good, like I try and plan my day of eating ahead, if there is room left,then I sneak in a cookie or two.

I am not SUPER strict, I do weigh my food, yes, but I’ll also have a beer or 2 on the weekend, I am done with being miserable, so, will live the fit life but also keep having fun. Those candies one time a year will remain!

I also ditched the “cheat meals” completely, I love IIFYM (If it fits your macros) cos you have more flexibility. I just don’t eat out too often cos it’s harder to track the intake, but last week I went out to have a teriyaki burger ( vegan of course,do I have to mention that, at this point?) and I enjoyed every bite.

Ah right, I started doing these daily:  Leslie Sansone walking at home, it’s like, videos on YouTube, you walk lol, it sounds silly, but make no mistake! It’s really good and keeps the body moving!! Plus the lady is super nice.

Ok that’s it.

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Dat me at the end of gym

La parte fea de aprender un idioma

Bueno, no es que haya una parte fea, es que es normal frustrarse, la cosa es que yo no soy muy buena con eso de la frustración, ¿conocen al monito flip table?

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Esa soy, yo, me harto de algo y a la verga todo, no más, bye! O al menos así era antes, ahora estoy tratando de ser una persona sensata respecto a ello, claro que escribo esto después de haber llorado, ah si, que yo lloro cuando me enojo o me frustro mucho, para que se lo sepan.

Ya saben, que he intentado aprender italiano por mi cuenta, como ya puedo decir 2-3 cosas, a veces intento armar frases, pero hoy una no me salió bien, ( a quien se le ocurre, si no he estudiado como se hace el futuro simple y mi única referencia es un verbo irregular..pero así soy yo) entonces claro, me emputé, lloré, me jalé el pelo, bueno no, pero casi y estuve a 2 segundos de mandar todo a la verga y casi casi, hacer una hoguera con el poco material que tengo de estudio.

Afortunadamente esperé un rato a calmarme, dejar de llorar y pensar con mi mente como una persona medianamente sensata, ni siquiera he ojeado, visto el tema, aprendido como se conforman los verbos en futuro simple ¿pero cómo chingados espero saber hacerlo entonces? Si, sé como se conjuga el verbo “essere” pero es irregular, y es el único, ah si “andare” también, sólo esos dos los he leído con ese tiempo, porque están en unas canciones, más bien debería pensar que es bastante chévere que tenga una idea de como son las cosas, ¡Ah no, pero Nancy quiere ya saber todo!

Entonces, con calma, aprender un idioma no es solo aprender palabras, es pensar sobre el mundo de una manera totalmente diferente, con palabras totalmente nuevas, eh bueno más o menos, hay palabras similares ya saben.

So, voy a ponerme en orden, seguir usando la app, mi cuaderno y revisar mi material y callarme la bocaza.

 

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Voglio imparare italiano ma…

Bueno ya saben de mi aventura, les dije que la iba a documentar y nada, eso haré, esta es la tercera de..no sé cuantas partes..o le agarro la onda o lo mando todo al carajo, ya veremos.

Me gusta, es muy divertido y ha salido barato, me he gastado 99 pesos en la versión premium de MosaLingua, 35 en imprimir un “folleto” de gramática de 74 páginas y ahora estoy juntando muchos printables PDF para tener ese material a la mano.

El único inconveniente es que no tengo nadie con quien practicar, de sentarme y decir lo que sea, a lo más que llego es a repetirle al teléfono lo que voy aprendiendo en las flashcards, decirle cosas super random a mi madre y leer en voz alta los nombres de los helados, o debería decir.. “il nome del gelato” porque no sé como decirlo en plural.o sea si sé “i nomi ___gelati” pero la parte “de los” es la que no sé..argh , en fin, cuando iba a alemán no es que hablara mucho tampoco, supongo que es normal..aún así me molesta un poco.  u.u Ah pero si lo usaba en línea en unos juegos.

La otra cosa es que a falta de películas y series, me la paso con rolas, unas muy extrañas, entonces estoy aprendiendo a decir cosas algo raras, lo cual por mi está bien jajaja.

Hablando de canciones…

Lo mejor es esta chava y su canción,  (se llama L’aura, que no es igual que Laura eh, por cierto, Laura allá es como María creo, todo mundo se llama así. )Digo tiene otras, pero esta fue la primera que escuché, pero es como indie y así, y la canción en general, pues habla de que su vida no es un cuento de hadas, es una prisión, y que nunca será feliz, que no es suficiente tener 6 perros, chófer, que diario a tomarse el prozac , o sea que lo material no te va a llenar nunca si vives una vida que no es la que quieres vivir, así de sencillo. Y tiene harta razón.

Ahora para practicar más, la buena y vieja confiable, Laura Pausini, con melodías como “Non c’è ” o como la conocimos todos en México, “se fue” ya me verán cantando de camino al gym,jajaja. Si creían que la señorita era algo dramática e intensa en español, no saben nada hasta que no sepan del cielo nero,nero senza fine y la mille vite que esperará al tipo que se fue, o más bien, que no está.

Pero si está padrisimo aprender, el pedo es que no hay mucho donde practicar, aunque me hallé está página aprender italiano con ejercicios y lecturas, está chévere.

 

 

Freelancing and other things

Such a creative title, whoa so much power… lol well it can’t be helped, first I want to talk about my experience being a freelancer,  specifically working in UpWork (previously Odesk)

I started when a friend told me about it, I had jobs before you know, costume shop and others, but usually I couldn’t deal with less than nice comments or the stress so I, more than once, literally left running in tears… I knew I wasn’t good adapting to society and shit, but was this a sentence?

Fuck no, working from home was IT, I didn’t use my account much to be honest, that was hm 1 year and a bit ago, I just did what he suggested me, apply to EVERY job that caught my eye and wait, eventually I managed to get some very cool ones, ah cos let me tell you, besides the jobs that let you choose your own pace and you just have to meet the deadline, there are some that require a fixed schedule, those are a no-no for me, one of the things I like most about freelancing is that I am not chained.

I only choose those where I can freely decide if I want to speed like a maniac or take it easy.  Now, they all pay in dollars, I live in Mexico, so even low paying ones are so much better than a regular job here, the last in-person job I had paid something like, 2,200 pesos per 15 days, so 4,400 a month, IF , and I want to make this clear, IF they paid whole, cos you had to rush to bathroom and to eat if you wanted to keep your “bonus” , with one of my recurring jobs, the porn one, the one I like the most, with a single batch of descriptions I make that much, it takes me between 3 and 5 days, and it’s maybe 15 hours? 18 tops. The other job was 6 hours daily, Saturdays too. So you can see which one is the best!

The best part is I don’t have to go out lol, the second best part is da payment, is usually handsome! I also get small things, like for 5,10 dollars, but all counts! the third best thing is you get to do a lot of different stuff, I was only doing translations till I decided I was good enough coming up with shit as not to try “creative writing”, from casino reviews to health articles, it’s so much fun.

Some transcriptions too, some subtitle making, it’s cool to learn new skills on the go and if you don’t like something much, or someone, you just finish and never talk to them again, it’s dead easy.

Of course, sometimes I was a bit worried, when the next job would come? the next payment? which by the way is solved with the applying to all approach, last week I did NOTHING, this week, I had some subtitle translating for a language learning website, rushed porn, cos they needed it fast and an article on wellness. I managed to finish it all, it was super stressful yes, I am demolished, yes, but this happens every 2 weeks or so, I usually take it easy and have 1-2 projects at the same time at most. So, we can say I supa work 3-4 days a month, chill work about 7 and the rest is vacation. I’d say I’m winning in life. Some people are maniac all week long… -shivers-

This may not be for everyone, cos it’s not a “certain” thing, but I prefer to sometimes wonder than to feel chained with my life drained doing shit I hate. Of course some people love the job stability and to climb ranks, that’s good,  I am not saying it’s bad, it’s just not for me, so I’m happy that there’s different options for people like me.

Now on the other things that I mentioned in the title :

Back pain, I don’t know what you think about it and this is my blog so, regardless of what you think I’ll write what I think, lol.

There’s many books, ideologies and belief systems that claim that physical pain usually has an emotional cause, which I agree, why? Well, because, for example, when I sprained my ankle last year, I hadn’t had a sprain in like, 15 years, so why in that moment? I was again conforming in a relationship that didn’t make me happy cos it didn’t give me what I needed/wanted, the part of your body that gets you moving and points direction is your feet right? Well, after this incident, I had a lot of time to talk and it’s when I made some major changes, (again) in my life, so in the end, not being able to walk as usual, gave me the tools to decide in which way did I want to go with my life, relationships,etc.

So, a few weeks ago I had a contracture on my back, it was pretty annoying and bad, now, you know I tend to worry too much and think too much…most people get stiff necks when worried ne? Apparently for me is my back and a very particular spot, also sitting here for like 14 hours isn’t good at all,yes I was working but also, also, they asked me to have like 100-150 descriptions made by the 11, I decided, for myself, to have it ALL done by yesterday (the 10th for them) so that was my own decision. Anyway, the pain is back a bit, but it’s different, it doesn’t hurt to breath, which is awesome, so I’m debating between going to gym, getting it checked or staying here, resting 3 days and going back on Monday, since it’s upper body day today, so back,chest, bicep, triceps and shoulders.

I still worry sometimes yes, about for example, not doing well enough at gym, by the way, I changed weight in some exercises, less weight but full ROM, which is GOOD and works muscles better. I guess sometimes I still get impatient, but alas! I can see a bit of hamstring popping out now, so, this whole eating and lifting seems to the be key to being hot lol

I am not really worried about my trip anymore tho, I mean, I get nervous cos wahhhh, we’ll meet and omg! but I’m really looking forward, ah I should get my passport next week or so ,anyway that part is good I think.

I think I’m supa far from perfect, but we aren’t on earth to be perfect, we have to eat and we poop for crying out loud xD, we can improve every day tho  🙂

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