Mind over matter

So, I can somehow easily overdo things, and go to extremes, been there done that a lot, I am finding a healthy middle point for many things in my life, I’m still struggling with food and that is what this post is about.

Keeping track on what you eat and nutrition is ok, like minding what you eat, but restricting certain food or, even worse, not wanting to eat this or that cos you can’t weigh it in the moment? Now that’s a bit too obsessive, and in the past I’ve had some issues with that, either slamming down 15-20 tacos in a sitting. 3-4 liters of soda, this of course has made me a bit wary and then I just stopped it all altogether. I’ve tried many things, paleo, counting calories, not counting anything,some crazy ass diets, some ok diets but boring as fuck, I haven’t eaten toast for years cos I got so sick of it lol.

So, I don’t wanna be all care free and just eat crap, I do work out cos I wanna look good and stuff, aye some vanity there, I see no harm in it, a little bit of course, not posing on the mirror all day long, fack, I don’t even like mirrors xD , I just want to chill a damn lot, thinking about how many calories more I have to eat ( my usual problem is I don’t eat enough,well trying to eat less carbs and being vegan leads to that you see?) heck, sometimes I finish food just cos I “need” X quantity to hit my goal for protein or fat or whatever.  Eating something I don’t wanna eat for those reasons made me think maybe this ain’t good lol.

It was so fucking good to just not mind that, yesterday I had some spring rolls with some sauce and a soda with my gf and everything was fine, I didn’t magically became obese or died lol, so I wanna be able to do that, sometimes just go out and eat stuff with people or alone or however, without worrying so much.

I will switch to this plan the vegetarian nutritionist gave me, it’s based on “equivalencies” , so 1/2 cup of legumes is one, a tortilla is one of cereals, etc, it’s still keeping and eye on things but way more relaxed, plus I’m not a real fan of cookies or chips or stuff so it’s all good, I have got me this meal reminder app though, cos I do tend to get distracted and forget to eat, so, will try that, of course gonna keep my 3 days at the gym, aiming to walk at least 3-4 kilometres daily ( modern society has us very sedentary ) and adding the yoga and insanity.

I already feel better, let’s see how this goes.

Army of me

Not gonna talk about Björk, instead I’ll write about a very real thing.

Have you ever felt like you overthink stuff? That you worry a bit too much about , well hell, things that have not even happened and may not even occur? Have you found yourself second guessing too much?

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This has actually happened

Well, you are not alone!! I too have often been found acting like this.

“The next message you need is always right where you are.” ~Ram Das 

I think that is true, and I shall be open and honest, sometimes, just a little bit I find myself falling back into old patterns, you know how I was drawn to emotionally unavailable people, or who were usually cold but now and then would be sort of nice and warm and that made me feel special, cos I did not think I was special enough, for fuck sake, most often I’d feel they were almost doing me a favour. Then I met nicer people but kinda sorta expected them to either suddenly change into colder individuals or simply “get tired of me”. Those times are over, gladly, but I haven’t completely removed such behaviour, I mean,  have you heard about people, specifically women, complaining about someone being “dry” cos they don’t add enough emojis to the conversation? Does it sound like something that makes sense? No it does not, but still, I noticed, from time to time that idea flashes in my head, the good thing is now, after all I’ve learnt from my past relationships, I can sit down and think “Wow dude,see things as they are, without putting on your freaking out she doesn’t like me anymore? glasses” and find everything is absolutely fine,  it’s just that old fear of people liking me a lot only to start to complain a bit later.

BUT HOLD ON, is that my previous partners fault? Maybe I started to be too needy, as a result of said fear, and that also made them withdraw somehow? We ain’t blaming no one here, but if you recognize a pattern that leads you to where you don’t want to be, again, you can take the moment you need to sit straight ( or do one of those yoga positions ) and remember that how you feel is a choice of yours, that you are good enough and worthy, specially if things have been going well? Is there a logical, reasonable reason why should everything just randomly and suddenly go downhill? Not really.

Do not linger in things that were a certain way, yes maybe this one person ended up liking your friends better than you and you never had alone time cos honestly it sucked, yeh maybe this one person tried to change you constantly, sure, this other one just stopped talking to you without notice and left you wondering and feeling abandoned.

Let’s say it this way, what happens is a plain soup, no nothing but boiling water, your emotions and how you see things are the spices you put there, you could add tasty things or a wee too much salt and then you ain’t gonna like it, but originally there’s nothing to like or dislike, it’s just is.  Maybe someone grew up thinking “love is getting flowers” then they get “dissapointed” cos the person they are with, is not a flower giving person, but they show them love in other way.

The new people you’ll meet, or are meeting or getting to know are NOT those people you knew, those people you met were a reflection of what is inside you, so are the new, and you are a different person now, yeah, still some things to tweak but good grief, I am honestly happy, I can now sit and think “Ah, so this is happening, well, I’ll stop it now”

I hope this is of any use to someone out there, and even if not, it really helps me to put it in words.   Remember we all deserve love, and good things, we deserve them, open your heart and accept the good things, the love from others, from yourself, just let it flow through you, for as long as it lasts, as a song says, “Take the beginning with no end in mind” just let it be.

Let it be.

On a small side note, I’ll be adding some Insanity to my workout routine, on NON lifting days of course and either 1 hour meditation 3 times a week or small ones daily or all, not sure yet, gotta take care of my mind, heart and soul as well as my body.

New view on the Bi.

Short title for a short post. I used to be one of those people who had negative connotations about the bisexuality and until recently I had been sort of thinking about it, it’s unfair to discriminate against someone for their orientation, like hello, I don’t feel like having people think weird stuff cos I am a lesbian right? Well, after some talking and lots of thinking, I realized I was biased, guess why? yes a bad experience, ok some few of those, but it’s no different than those guys who think “all women are so mean” or the gals who may consider “all men are pigs and horrible” because in their path they had a less than pleasant ( or more ) encounters with people who they didn’t got along too well.

On the other hand, there is a saying “you have the love you think you deserve”, I suspect it’s true, cos back then when I was a real mess and I despised my very being, well, isn’t it logical to expect I’d meet people who would reinforce this feeling? If you think you are a huge pile of crap, be ready to meet some toilets that will flush you down further, that is until you change your perception and then, almost magically, you will gravitate towards different situations and people.

So, what I try to say is, it’s not like these girls I’ve met were the way they were as a consequence of being bisexual, they just liked going around and most likely they ain’t even truly bi, just catching what’s available ( which is ok just like be honest people lol )

That is why my list of hmm preferred traits on a woman has changed, if she is an honest, sincere, good hearted person that matters, also if she funny and smart and weird ,but you know what I mean.

So ultimately I wanna apologize about the times when I actively refused to even consider dating bisexual women, due to my prejudices and past experiences.

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unrelated..or is it?

 

Ryeong a.k.a “The ghost” /”Dead friend”

Thank you South Korea, you have yet again brought an amazing movie for me. If you’ve watched “the grudge” and “dark water” and liked them, you are gonna love this one.

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After I’m done with my Asian horror movies watching fest, I’ll most definitely add this one on my new top chart.  You get a girl with amnesia, a confusing past, revengeful spirit , mysterious events and a very nice plot twist, as expected from Asian films.

I have to confess I am in no way used to Korean names so it got confusing at times, also cos they all seem more similar to me than Japanese do,  I’m sure that is cos I’m silly.

Anyhow, I don’t want to spoil you, but I want to recommend it, I enjoyed it so much, it has a great atmosphere, it keeps you interested and it’s an overall pretty good movie. Plus the lead character is…well, the twist was really nice, seriously.

 

 

Nancy’s ultimate top 8 Asian Horror Movies!

I just watched Sadako vs Kayako so I now must present to you my top 8.

Before anything, I won’t be including movies such as: Ichi the killer, Audition, Battle Royale, Sympathy for lady Vengeance and so on, because those are violent and bloody surely, but they lack the supernatural component,so they belong in another list! Along with most of Takashi Miike’s films.

I am leaving many movies out, yes, cos these ones are the ones I can recall most of what happened without having to watch again and made a bigger impression, but of course there are tons of good movies, like Whispering corridors, The stair of wishes or something like that, Tomie, etc.

1.- A tale of two sisters: Let’s begin with Korea, they bring to us this awesome and surely confusing tale, of well, two sisters, things are surely not what they look like. After spending some time in a mental institution the sisters come home.

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2.- Ringu (The ring): Japan’s turn.What can I say? One of the first movies of this sort I’ve watched, the premise is simple, watch a tape, get cursed in X days, proceed to die. Ah vengeful spirits.

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3.- Art of the devil (Long Khong): Thailand, why are you like this? Black magic, voodoo, hella lot of revenge, seriously one of the most gruesome films I’ve watched, and damn I’ve watched such things…Yikes! The one I remember the most is the part 2, my favourite, but any of the 3 will make it hard to sleep in peace.

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Sorry about the cropping, it’s a bit hard to find the cover.

4.- One missed call: Japan surely is something else. I think this is one of my all time favourites, I must had watched it about 15 times, through the years.  You get a call, from your own phone, well, you get a voice message, then you die in X days (why won’t you kill people more quickly!) it’s interesting cos it tells a lot about how people make their relations and are using technology and blah blah. Plus the ringtone is cool AF.

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5.- Sick Nurses: Oh another Thai beauty. I love this one because it feels like a parody, I think it’s one..I’m not sure. It’s really over the top, it presents the most commonly seen tropes in Asian horror movies, long hair, revengeful female spirit, deadly water, etc. Towards the end it turns really original and I just had to love it for it.

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6.- Train to Busan: This is not what I would call terror, but it has zombies, plus it made me cry when I watched it alone in the cinema theater. Not cos it was so scary, but cos , as usually, Asian horror movies have a very sad part/backstory/ending. I loved every single minute of it. Another jewel from Korea.

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7.- Shutter:  From Thailand, ghosts and cameras, a perfect match. It’s really creepy, I got to watch it in a cinema theater and loved it , (in Mexico we don’t always get this sort of movies shown on the big screen, sadly)

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8.- The eye: This amazing title comes from Hong Kong/ Singapore , a blind woman who gets a cornea transplant and gets to see the world sounds lovely right? Yeah, except when you can see ghosts and terrible things. (hey it reminds me of Misaki Mei from “Another” anime)

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Sadako vs Kayako

I was finally able to watch this in the original version ( a dubbed version in Chinese was available before, but nope) I have to say it was glorious, as a movie of that sort can be.

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What started off as a joke, cos who in their right mind would put bad evil spirits to fight..ah Jason vs Freddy happened once..ok never mind that.  An April fool’s joke, the idea seemed so welcomed the producers decided to go with it.

I love Asian horror, Japanese, Chinese, from Vietnam, Korea, etc, and I’ve watched most of the Ringu and Ju-On movies (Sadako comes from Ringu and Kayako comes from Ju-on) so I was so excited about this, and it delivered.

The plot is as amazing as it sounds, a girl is cursed by the video tape (with logic and common sense horror movies wouldn’t exist, seriously, who willingly watches a freaking cursed tape and has the audacity to make a DVD copy!?) and another one is cursed by entering this house,so, the super cool spirit fighter guy along with snarky blind gifted girl come up with a plan.

Let’s make them fight! It’s easy, curse the other one with the opposite foe and then let’em fight over ya, what could ever go wrong?

I shall not spoil you, please do watch, I loved it to bits, the ending is a bit “…really?” but considering the plot, it’s just as expected. Tons of fun to be have here.

Oh I’ve had an epiphany… I’ll make my top 10 Asian horror movies !!!

13 reasons why

Si, me he unido al hype de esta serie, y aunque el post va en español, ni de coña voy a traducir el título, como saben trato de nunca hacer esto a menos que sea una salvajada como algunos títulos de anime (Watamote aka Watashi ga motenai no wa dō Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui!, really?) y la razón de que sea en español es porque de esta serie se ha hablado hasta el hartazgo en foros y blogs de habla inglesa y creo que en México vemos todo esto distinto, o yo lo veo así. Aquí no hay proms, aquí las fiestas de los chavos ricos del salón no son un parteaguas en la vida de la gente (o al menos yo no he visto eso, será porque realmente casi no tenía amigos y me daba y me da igual eso de la popularidad)

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Bueno, todo lo nuevo en Netflix, que yo he visto, me ha gustado mucho, Stranger things, Orange is the new black, algunos docus, entonces dije “vamoa ver la serie” y esperaba algo super cursi, sensiblería pura y barata y/o un bullying hardcore como el que se ve usualmente en filmes y series. Y no, les voy a contar lo que yo vi, spoiler free!!

Obviamente todo mundo sabe que Hannah está muerta, super muerta mortada, entonces esto no supone spoiler alguno, el asunto es que deja 13 cintas, si cintas como en cassette ( ¿me pregunto cuántos de los que ven la serie sabrán siquiera qué es eso?) con las 13 razones/personas por las cuales llego a la decision irrevocable de quitarse la vida.

Vemos la historia junto con Clay, un muchacho aparentemente simple, que la verdad, me dan un poco de ganas de patearle la cabeza a veces, joder, que yo las escucharía de un jalón, pero bueno, si fuera así no habría serie. Y vamos explorando con él y a través de los ojos de Hannah como se fueron sumando ciertas situaciones.

Aquí en México creo que el bullying es distinto, si lo hay, si a mi me tocó, pero como tenemos obviamente otra cultura, otro entorno social pues a lo mejor nos cuesta un poco ( a mi me costó, les digo) empatizar (ok en general me cuesta eso ¿ok?) con esta chica, pero creo que ese es el punto fuerte de la serie,  antes del final si llegué a pensar “Ay como exagera, ni es para tanto”, pero cuando todo termina, te mueves el engranaje mental un poco y te das cuenta que es fútil intentar comprender lo importante o poco importante que puede ser algo para alguien en específico. Porque todos somos individuos, aunque vivamos en sociedad y seamos seres sociales (unos menos eh) razón por la cual generalizar o desvirtuar los problemas de otros porque “podría ser peor” o mi favorito “hay gente a la  que si le va mal, porque____ lo tuyo no es para tanto” , a cada persona le afectan las cosas de cierto modo, si bien no es razonable andar cuidando todo lo que uno hace o dice, si sería bueno considerar que los demás tienen sentimientos y todo eso, tratar de, si no pueden ser super empáticos, al menos cerrar el pico y no empeorarlo.

Eso si, yo lloré al final (que llorona que soy) porque es cuando digamos me logré poner un poquitito en su lugar, y bueno, me recuerda un poco una película, que es de mis más favoritas, se llama “May” con Angela Bettis, es una temática distinta pero vaya, me hace pensar que hay personas que tal vez realmente sólo necesitan un buen amigo o amiga y toda su vida sería diferente o no habría llegado al punto de quiebre, pero la vida pasa como debe pasar así que es inútil sumirse en pensamientos tales.

Hay una serie de memes que algunos critican como ofensivos, insensibles (¡Joder! y ¿de cuándo acá los memes demuestran sensibilidad y son políticamente correctos?) a mi la verdad me parecen como cualquier meme, lo ves, te ríes, o no, y ya está.

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Esta es mi pequeña contribución sobre esta serie, les recomiendo que la vean y desprecien a Bryce junto con miles de personas, ah , casi me olvido, los “malos” aquí son malos y todo pero, la serie, a mi parecer, logra hacerlos personajes tridimensionales con fallas, virtudes y vidas propias con sus propias cargas, como las personas normales vaya, así que tampoco es sólo odiarlos y ya (como a Ramsay Bolton, ese si que se pudra), tal vez Bryce sea el más fácil de aborrecer,pero incluso el mismo es producto de una cultura y entorno social que han facilitado su desarrollo en ese tipo de persona.

 

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